Sometimes life / work / obligations can feel like a constant uphill climb. Don’t be discouraged.
The American Dream
One of the biggest scams of all time is the expectations that people have for those who want to be successful in this world. Society tells us to work hard, go to school, not just high school but pursue a university degree, graduate, start a family, buy a house or car (or both) with that nice salary, pay off your never ending debt, take your 1-2 weeks of vacation each year, work until 65-67, then enjoy the years you have left for the next decade (based on average life expectancy) with the hopes you have enough money to retire. The ideology is that you should graduate at 25 +/- a couple years depending on the degree type. THIS is when your life starts it seems. You want to show people you are valued, successful, and moving up in the world. So, you come out of school with debt, take on more debt to buy a house or take out a car loan for that nice new car you need to have to prove your degree paid for something and that you are successful. Do you know what I call this? The beginning of the end. Because what most people do soon after is become complacent. Humans gravitate towards what is comfortable, it seems we gravitate towards the path of least resistance, and that is a very dangerous path. Before you know it, you’ll be 55-60 years old just mindlessly wandering through life – maybe without a feeling or sense of purpose. You’ll look back and wish you made different decisions or took more control of your life. I often hear, “easy decision, tough life; tough decision, easy life”. And I couldn’t agree more with that statement.
The Beginning of The End?
Recently, I have been dwelling on the fact that I will never get to live my life the way I would want to. I settled down right out of college, I bought the expensive house with an expensive mortgage payment which will guarantee that I must continue working to keep up. Taking a pay cut to go to another job is not an option, taking a leave of absence is not an option, selling and moving is not really an option either – we just moved in and selling would ensure a net loss of 6-8% right off the top and closing costs which we do not have cash to cover, also, we paid over asking price for the house and offered cash above the appraisal value, so would could not even sell for what we bought for since the housing market is cooling off. Icing on the cake is that the cooling unit is failing horribly with a bad compressor and this house is not zoned so we would be looking at $10,000 +/- to take care of this the right way. On top of this, my work has become much more stressful and demanding. I wake up dreading going in, I count the minutes until I can leave which is often an unknown amount of time since I am salary and work much more than I should be. The more I dwell on it, the more depressing it seem. I can feel my life passing by and I don’t even feel like I’m the one in control.
Stay Positive
So, what now? Glad you asked – I have challenged myself and would love to challenge anyone reading this to stay positive. This is a simple concept, but far from easy. How am I supposed to ignore the fact that I am trapped in the hamster wheel of working 7-5 (wouldn’t 9-5 be nice?). Feelings are based on perspective, and the ability to change your perspective is a powerful skill to achieve. I have challenged myself to change the way I look at life, at work, and my obligations. I am shifting the paradigm in a positive way that is working to propel me towards my goals. I am letting this negativity fuel my drive to work towards being my own boss and uncovering my passions that I feel I have not yet found in this life. I know there is more for me out there, and it isn’t working for someone else. Right now, I feel trapped, but I am channeling this feeling of being trapped into something that is freeing. I want my life to worth living, I want to add value, I want to be loved, I want to be free, I want to be someone. I always hear there is the small, microscopic amount of freedom of choice between stimulus and response. My goal is to take back that small freedom of choice and redirect my responses and actions outside of what typically follows that stimulus. I just need to be a little bit better than the day before. I will not allow my life to slip through the cracks while I mindlessly work my life away waiting each and every year for my 1-2 weeks of time off. My life will be worth living, I will add value, I will be loved, I will be free, I will be someone; and so will you.